The Town That Fun Forgot

I love the CBC.¹ When I watch TV news, I watch CBC TV news. Sure, every now and then I'll watch TV news from another source by mistake, but when I do, I always feel nauseous afterwards: I can almost smell the make-up, perfume, and hairspray on the newsreaders of networks like CTV and Global... It's the same with radio. When I listen to the radio, I listen to CBC Radio One. No other source even comes close to matching Radio One for the quality of its news, commentary, and ephemera.

Still, the CBC can seem a little out of touch sometimes. I would never listen to Radio One for its musical content, for example -- notwithstanding the fact that they just played the awesome Guess Who song "Running Back to Saskatoon" a few minutes ago. With Radio One, you have to sit through a lot of earnest, vaguely-ethnic, Parachute-Club-level crap to get to the good stuff.

And only the CBC would think it is a good idea to broadcast a weekly show about French-language slang on an English-language station.

Nothing has screamed out-of-touch more loudly to me lately, though, than an article I read about Lorne Elliott, host of the Radio One humour program, Madly Off in All Directions. In the article, Elliott notes that he likes to "work in local material" when he takes his act on the road, and that his sources tell him that we're obsessed with slugs, moss, and "out-of-control cyclists" here.

I don't know about that. I don't remember ever seeing Council Chambers packed to the rafters with people predicting imminent disaster if the plague of slugs, moss, and cyclists isn't dealt with. However, I have seen Chambers packed to the rafters with blue rinse crumblies predicting the sky will fall if the City allows the construction of a three-storey building (!) on the main street in a commercial neighbourhood.

Yes, there are things to make fun of here. Like the quasi-governmental agency that wants to uphold the existing ban on buying, selling or advertising anything in a 62-acre, downtown park. That's right, a 62-acre park with nary a hot dog stand or ice cream vendor in sight! Whee!

Or, how about a quasi-governmental agency that proposes to increase the license fees for street entertainers as follows: from $10 per year to $360 per year for jugglers; from $10 per year to $180 per year for buskers; and from $500 per year to $950 per year for visual artists; with all fees rising to $2,000 per year over a five year period? This, in a city where the sidewalks are empty at 5 p.m. ... except for the people who live on them, of course.

Is this is the town that fun forgot? Well, maybe not entirely. To the right is a photograph of a local residential parking sign that has been "customized" by some anonymous prankster with a beating heart. And, just a few blocks away, there is a storefront gallery called The Ministry of Culture, a clever trick in a government town. That said, our brand spanking new arena is opening later this month, and the first act the owners thought to book there was ... Rod Stewart. Send help. Please. Hanson Brothers - Victoria

¹For any non-Canadians reading this, the CBC, or Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, or "Mother Corp," is a partially-tax-supported broadcaster with English- and French-language television and radio stations across the country.

March 19, 2005 | |

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