Holden Caulfield for Prime Minister

November 12, 2005... Bullshit has been on my mind a lot this week.

You know, like when a politician announces that his or her government is investing $2 billion in this or that worthy initiative, but, when you read the small print, the truth is that they will invest $2 billion if someone else invests $4 billion first? Yeah, that kind of bullshit.

Or, like when the President of the local Business Improvement Association (read: future politician) prattles on for four minutes about how a particular redevelopment site "offers a golden, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to reinvent the city and be the catalyst that draws the critical mass of activity and dynamism that the creative class hungers for?" (Or some such shit.)

I mean, what the hell does that mean? Like, what do you want them to build on the site, dude?

This summer, I read an excellent book by Laura Penny called Your Call Is Important to Us: The Truth About Bullshit. I like the book not simply because I agree with the author’s premise that bullshit is our society’s chief product, but also because she knows how to write.

My favourite line from the book, which, I should add, I read while in the employ of a large, bureaucratic organization: "Any bureaucracy's first line of defense is verbiage that fairly repels its readers, a blend of bafflegab, boilerplate, loopholes and jargon." Word.

*****

I so enjoyed watching The Fifth Estate's documentary on the illusion of airport security this week. I particularly enjoyed the part where Hana Gartner confronted the head of the Canadian Air Transport Security Authority (CATSA) with the news that it only took her investigator twenty minutes to figure out the code needed to access all departure gates at Pearson Airport ... and the head of CATSA responded “Do you have a problem with that? Because I don’t have a problem with that. I mean, what's the problem with that?” (Or words to that effect.)

Golly, I wonder if the be-suited twit was appointed by a politician. No! No, I don't wonder at all!

The Monks - Shut Up

Uh, in case you haven't already guessed from the above, I've actually been doing some work in my official line of work this week.

Permadink | |

Top

Home