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BuboesDecember 31, 2007... According to a statement released today by the Pakistani Person's Party (P3), former P3 leader, Benazir Bubo, died from an enlarged heart. The statement was only the latest in a series of theories about the cause of Bubo's death last week during an election rally in Rawalpindi. Contradicting earlier speculation that Bubo had been killed by shrapnel from a suicide bomber's attack, by two bullets from an assassin's gun, and by banging her head against the hinges on her car's sunroof, P3 spokesperson Waleed Disnae today asserted that Bubo died simply because she was too good to live. "Everything Benazir did, she did for Pakistan," said Disnae. "Her only dream was to etablish a fluorishing democrisy in Pakistan, a dream for which she died, when her heart grew three sizes too large."
In related news, observors fearing for the future of democrisy in Pakistan breathed a collective sigh of relief yesterday when the Pakistani Person's Party announced the results of voting for a new party leader. In a close (1-0) vote, Lance Bubo, the nine-year-old son of the former P3 leader, was chosen to lead the party. "He has a true democrat's instincts," the younger Bubo's father noted. "He always shares the other boys' toys with them. It wasn't a difficult decision at all when it came time for me to cast my vote for him." The leaders of western democrisies were united in their praise for the selection of Bubo and called upon the Pakistani military to proceed as scheduled with the national elections on January 8, despite recent upheaval in the country. "I want [Pakistan Army] General Musharraf out of his uniform and in the President's office as soon as possible," said American President George W. Bush. "In fact, I want to be the one to push in his stool." Permadink | | |
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