http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/ Five decades of popular and unpopular music. en-us http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/031608.html Vancouver's alright, if you like crows. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/021108.html Adults suck. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/121907.html No Mind is the sound of unwashed hair, three-day stubble and flannel shirts. It is the sound of cigarette burns on a filthy carpet in an apartment with iron radiators and cracked windows painted shut, where there isn't a single microbrew bottle among the empties stacked in cases beside the fridge. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/112507.html Indie rock today plays a role similar to that of new wave in the 1980s: it looks kinda wierd, I guess, but underneath the beards and aviator glasses, there ain't much going on. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/100807.html For a brief moment while listening to Expando Brain, I stopped feeling all verkrapmte. I connected the words and moods immediately with the emotions I felt at the time the record came out and I listened to it so obsessively. For that one simple moment, I was not weighing, measuring and analysing anything. I was not seeking. I was enjoying. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/090307.html If you ain't growed up in the Detroit area, you prolly ain't heard this song. But me, I've wanted to hear it again for years. And one night, two weeks ago, I heard it like I'd never heard before... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/072907.html It's really Sly and the Family Stone that Chico Science and Nacao Zumbi remind me of most: a bi- or non- racial band, blurring the line between "white music" and "black music," with a leader rocking shades and some serious-ass sideburns. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/070807.html Hamilton, Ontario. Steel mills, slag heaps. A place where you can walk from donut shop to donut shop in a downpour and not get wet. Resolutely blue collar, and not the sort of place you'd expect to nurture an against-the-grain, avant garage band during the polyester era. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/070507.html Rock 'n' Roll is an American music. Un-Americans can dabble in Rock 'n' Roll, but they'll never really "get" it. This is why, despite decades of effort, British "Rock" is still so effete. This is also why Lul's first LP, Inside Little Oral Annie, is so intriguing. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/060507.html Daddy wears a dress. Mommy grows a beard. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/050607.html I am struck by how apropos the lyrics are, what with coalition forces bogged down in a war in Iraq for more than four years now, and no end in sight. But Rat Patrol was written and recorded more than twenty years ago. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/042207.html Riding my bike to work one day this week, Clipse song stuck in my head, I suddenly understood what they was tryna say. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/030407.html The Rock Critic has died, aged approximately 50, from irrelevance. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/021807.html I have dreamt of sleeping in a burned out basement, and have awakened in a spirit ditch, many, many times. It spooked me to no end to hear that someone else had had the same experience. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/020407.html As it has for a lot of people, the Internet has changed the way I listen to music. I cadge tunes from many sources now, but I'm cadging songs, not albums. So, when I tell you that this post is about an _album_ I have listened to, end to end, again and again, lately, you know it's some good shit. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/012407.html A recent post on Vinyl Mine is devoted to 1980s and 1990s shock punker Tesco Vee and his band, the Meatmen, and ends with by asking, "Any good Tesco stories to share?" Well, I'm not sure it's good, but I am sure it's a story... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/010707.html The Matrix TM is a spreadsheet I prepare every January based on the year-end best-of lists of new music from various publications. What is to be learned from this exercise? Well, for one thing, statistics can be used to prove anything. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/123106.html It's New Year's Eve! Have a ball! Here are four more favourites "from 2006" to help. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/122906b.html It is expected that convicted mass murderer, Saddam Hussein, will be hanged in the next few hours. Lawyers for Hussein, former despot of the now-flourishing democracy of Iraq, are considering whether to issue a last-minute plea for clemency. "It would be cruel and unusual to hang someone who looks so much like the beloved comic strip character Hobbes, from Calvin and Hobbes," one is reported to have said. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/122906.html The Eve of judgement is upon us. Soon, the worth of each and every one of us will be determined... What better way to prepare for the heaviest night of the year than with a bit of levity? To that end, here are a few things that made me laugh in 2006. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/122606.html As you've prolly already heard, James Brown, "The Godfather of Soul," died earlier this week. Like most of the maladjusted dweebs in the mp3 blogosphere, my introduction to "Soul Brother Number One" was indirect... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/121806.html Seriously, kids, if you want poetry, listen to the Weakerthans. If you want rock hard hard rock guitars, listen to AC/DC. If you want to listen to a maudlin drunk slobbering incomprehensibly about something, buy me a drink. But if you're feeling nostalgic for Journey, well, The Hold Steady's new album might do. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/121506.html When some venereal, old blogger posts oldies, it's because that shit has stood the test of time. It's still relevant, five, ten or sixty years after the fact. If it wasn't, ain't nobody'd be writin' about it. That's why my "Best of 2006" posts will actually be "Best in 2006" posts. This is the stuff I listened to most in 2006, though very little of it was actually released in 2006... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/120306.html I couldn't really think of any songs about pizza other than "The Age of Pamparius," so here are a few songs by Italians instead. Perhaps no other ethnic group in the world is as challenged, musically, as the Italians. This is the best they have to offer. Buon appetito. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/112606.html Many good things came out of the Cold War: US military bases in West Germany, for example. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/111906.html Who among us has never encountered a toilet that isn't even clean enough to shit in? Who among us has never had to "hold it in" while we're out and about because of the lack of inviting places for a nice sit down? What a bummer! http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/111106.html I can't help but notice how central a role Diana Krall's looks play in the marketing of her music. There's no two ways about it, Mrs. Elvis Costello is a fine-looking dame, but with her glorious stems always so prominently displayed on her album jackets, I can't help but wonder what exactly is being sold. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/110406.html Skeleton Crew was. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/102306.html Speculation is that the "religious entertainer" k-os criticizes in "B-Boy Stance" is K'Naan. Certainly, K'Naan "took cameras to Africa for pictures to rhyme over," as k-os sneers in his song... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/101506.html Spent a bit of time on the weekend trying to create a mash-up of K'Naan and SNFU using Audacity--all to no avail. Came up with this instead. I'm particularly fond of the hi-hat part. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/101406.html Datura Seeds was an Indianapolis-based group featuring Paul Mahern, ex of the Zero Boys. The band's 1989 LP, Who Do You Want It to Be?, is power-pop at its most powerful. It is still available from Toxic Shock, the label that released it 17 years ago. You'd better hurry up and place your order, though, because there's only one copy left. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/100106.html Happy Flowers, consisting of Mr. Horribly Charred Infant on vocals and Mr. Anus on guitar, released a handful of records in the late '80s and early '90s. The Happy Flowers' "thing" was noisy Butthole Surfers meets heavy metal with lyrics about childhood traumas ... delivered in the voice of an adult pretending to be a traumatized child. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/092406.html If Das Damen is famous for anything, it is for recording a cover version of Magical Mystery Tour, retitled Song For Michael Jackson to $ell, and credited to themselves, and which The Gloved One had pulled from the racks. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/092006.html Sunday night, I saw Jandek play. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/091406.html Went to Touch and Go's 25th Anniversary party in Chicago on the weekend. What follows are not-so-random recollections of the event. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/090606.html Speaking of entertainment... Here's hoping that the aging greybeards playing at Touch and Go Records' 25th Anniversary Party keep me entertained this weekend. I am particularly looking forward to the reunions of Scratch Acid and this band, the Didjits, whose set in Toronto in 1990, legend has it, touched off a riot of enraged feminists. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/090406b.html I'm not gonna post Pailhead's "I Will Refuse." Instead, I'ma post something that reminds me of it. It's got that whole tension-release dynamic, too. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/090406.html Another strong, early UB40 cut. But you've heard that melody somewhere before, haven't you? You can't quite put your finger on it, but somehow you know it had something to do with your parents. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/082706.html Before latching onto the odd idea of recording albums of slightly reggaefied, featherlight Neil Diamond covers, UB40 put out a series of punkish reggae albums with angry, socially-conscious lyrics. One early UB40 song, "Tyler," is about an African American man languishing in a Louisiana prison for a crime he claimed he didn't commit. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/082406.html "Scene cheerleaders got to have their scabied cunts eaten on dirty roach-infested floors while this loopy music raged and the worms crawled, you know. [But] "somewhere among the filthy hypo syringes and the blubber, there probably was poetry." http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/081906.html I remember when I bought This Side Up, the second album by DC band Scream. I hated it. To be fair, I'd bought the first Crucifucks and Naked Raygun albums on the same day, so Scream was up against pretty stiff competition, but I just didn't get it. "Sounds like the Beatles," I thought to myself... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/081206.html Judging from the photos of the band on their self-titled 1983 debut LP, Nihilistics were the sort of fellahs my gay, Jewish ass would rather not meet in a dark alley--particularly if my ass was actually gay and Jewish. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/080706.html Be the first person to name the song that "Midnight Train" reminds me of and you will win the sense of accomplishment that comes with being the first person to name the song that "Midnight Train" reminds me of. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/080406.html There will be other, better tributes to Arthur Lee in the blogosphere over the next few days. Lee wrote or co-wrote a couple dozen scorchers during the 1960s. Unfortunately, "My Little Red Book" wasn't one of them. How did Love get the bass guitar to sound so shitty? I mean, I've heard more sustain from a plucked grape. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/072706.html Last week, a friend sent me a link to Cats That Look Like Hitler. Naturally, it got me thinking about Sparks. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/072206.html Jangly, like REM, but murky and impenetrable, like fellow Texans, the Butthole Surfers, Nice Strong Arm pulled me down into a dark, dark place ... and kept me there. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/071606.html Listening to the debut long player by the long-running Dutch band Funeral Oration is a bit like watching one of those Saturday Night Live sketches wherein Tarzan, Tonto and Frankenstein mumble the lyrics to well-known songs in broken English. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/070806.html All three of the songs posted today have something important in common. Yes, it's true that all three of the artists involved, Black Sabbath, Beastie Boys and Butthole Surfers, trade under names that start with the letter "B," but that ain't what I is drivin' at. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/070206.html Generally, when one refers to a musical supergroup, one is referring to a group comprised of members of other famous musical groups. In 1988, X-Mist Records sprang a very different sort of supergroup on the world: Attent!on was comprised of current and former members of Angor Wat (?), Pissed Boys (??), L.U.L.L. (???) and "a number of local bands." http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/061106.html One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong. Can you tell which thing is not like the others ... before I write my next post? http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/043006.html Toronto, you have truly arrived. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/042306b.html I walk around most days with a song on my mind. I have no control over what song it is. It just ... appears ... and stays until another song takes its place. It could be the most insipid pile of shiite I've ever heard, but there it is, on my mind. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/042306.html Late one night in 1992, Akin Fernandez, a British shortwave enthusiast, stumbled across an odd broadcast consisting of nothing more than repeated series of numbers. Curious as to why anyone would bother to broadcast such nonsense, he sought out, and eventually found, other "numbers stations." The parties involved would never identify themselves. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/041306.html Target groups including urban Neutralized in areas of close Europena scrutiny. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/031906.html Saw Def Jux's travelling road show recently. One rapper on the bill impressed me. He had a face and limbs of rubber and could--and often did--switch between a whisper and a scream in a billionth of a second. Problem was, I had no idea who he was. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/031206.html You might not think that a person could make the case that New Wave was a crime against humanity by using the music of Z.Z. Top, classic southern rock trio, to illustrate. You would be wrong. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/021906.html Had to shit so bad on the bus Friday night, I thought I was gonna sprout a tail. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/020506.html Rhythm Pigs were a hardcore punk trio that put out a couple of killer LPs in the mid-to-late eighties. Listening to them again, all these years later, I am struck by how much southern-fried rock I can hear in their music. Still, they were punk, first and foremost, as is clear from their lyrics. Rhythm Pigs cared about freedom of expression, for example. And so do I. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/020406.html When I listen to the trumpet at the beginning of this song, the image I see in my mind's eye is of the trumpeter, his skin green, his eyelids heavy, his breathing shallow, having spent the previous night shitting out his guts after eating a order of bad veal parmagiana. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/012506.html Sounding the tiniest bit like the Dead Kennedys, but, for the most part, like no one else, Porcelain Forehead demonstrated an understanding of "sofisticated" musical concepts like changing the pace or volume level every now and then. Best of all, they did it all (usually) without being ponderous bores. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/011906.html The self-titled EP released by the Toronto-based Polkaholics starts innocuously enough. Sure, the lyrics are a little weird and you can almost hear the faux-baritone singer arching an eyebrow ironically. But then things REALLY start to go sideways. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/011706.html Last post aside, I've been pretty good about not polluting this "mp3 blog" with shit related to the election campaign currently underway in Canada. It's not that the pols haven't given me material to write about. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/011006.html There are probably 1,001 hip-hop songs that tell the same story. "C.R.E.A.M." was just the first one that came to mind. When the only person in the neighbourhood earning a living wage is a drug dealer, is it really so hard to fathom why some young people get involved in criminal gangs? http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/010406.html Gumdrop and I fell into the habit of playing the same CD whenever members of her family were over. It was cool enough to be in our collection, alongside the Steel Pole Bath Tub and the Sun City Girls, but inoffensive enough to play for parents and siblings. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/010106.html A lot of people died in 2005. Unfortunately, none of them was Jessica Simpson. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/122705.html Here are twelve songs released in 2005 that are, in the words of Judy Jetson, "the most ut." http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/121805.html Hmm... I wonder if one of the reasons piracy is so widespread is that so many of the people who have "devoted their lives to music" seem to think that a lifestyle that allows them to "rent a jet plane to go somewhere" a couple times a year is reasonable compensation... http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/121005.html The "real" focus of today's post is songs about bikes or bicycling, or that at least mention bikes or bicycling. There are a hell of a lot of them out there. Songs, I mean. Here are three of my favourites. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/120505.html Improbable sounds sound like nothing else. They may have been forged from the same raw ingredients as more probable sounds-human beings and guitars, for example-but they are bastards without precedent. San Diego-based guitarists John Reis and Rick Froberg have ventured into the uncharted territory of improbable sounds frequently over the past fifteen years. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/112705.html I seem to be out-of-synch with majority opinion on the Flaming Lips' 1999 album, The Soft Bulletin. I do not think it was the "most important" or "best" record of the 1990s. Not even close. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/112105.html "Real World, " from Husker Du's Metal Circus EP, was the most cynical song I could think of. If you're feeling cynical, the whole first side of the EP might appeal to you, as most of the lyrics seem to have been written in reaction to one sort of earnest, naive, oppressive loudmouth or another. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/111705.html Went to a gig last night and am still having hard time processing it. Let me set the scene for you... Fact one: the gig is in a medium-sized Canadian city with a large university. Fact two: the headlining act sounds a bit like Public Image Limited or the Slits or Gang of Four. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/111505.html Today I learned that the harmonica on the 1964 hit "My Boy Lollipop" was played by Rod "The Pre-Mod" Stewart. He still totally sucks, though. In fact, I heard they pumped his stomach out after one gig ... and found his head in it. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/111405.html The Monks was a mid-sixties band comprised of five former American GIs living in Germany. In an era when the sugary sounds of "Love, Love Me Do" still echoed in the ears of most young people, the Monks wrote and played songs with titles like "Shut Up" and "I Hate You." Mark E. Smith must've been listening. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/111205.html This summer, I read an excellent book by Laura Penny called Your Call Is Important to Us: The Truth About Bullshit. My favourite line from the book: "Any bureaucracy's first line of defense is verbiage that fairly repels its readers, a blend of bafflegab, boilerplate, loopholes and jargon." Word. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/110205.html Yesterday was the first day of Diwali, a five-day festival celebrated each autumn in India and throughout the South Asian diaspora. The festival is of particular significance to Hindu, Jain and Sikh communities. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/103005.html The main musical reference points for Odessey and Oracle are the Beatles and the Beach Boys. Yet, despite these unpromising waters, 'tis a voyage worth taking. For, even where the music seems light and airy and multi-part harmonies abound, it is a deceptive lightness: the Zombies were a clever band possessed of a dark sense of humour. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/102005.html Okkervil River had been getting press for a long while before I bothered to give them a listen. The band's name just didn't appeal to me. I suspected that the word "okkervil" was just a play on the word "overkill," and this raised a red flag in my tiny, little mind. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/101905.html I went to my first funeral last week. It was some crazy-ass shit. I found myself wondering what an African tribesman would think about it all. P.S. Check out this number by Sweet Billy Pilgrim. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/101705.html Stepped into the shower this morning and felt every pore in my body open, like flowers under the sun. Memories of the Who's final concert, on a berm in Myrtle Beach, and the lifeless version of "Happy Jack" they played, washed down the drain in cascades of oily K-W water. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/101005.html Let us play a fun game I like to call Which Came First? Here is how it works: I post two similar files; then I ask you to guess which one was created first. So, for example, Franz Ferdinand's cover artwork or the cover artwork for the Ex and Guests: which came first? http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/092605.html Raymond Huffman and Peter Haskett were roommates in a low-rent apartment building in San Francisco whose drunken fights and tirades were taped by their next door neighbours. Raymond found homosexuality and homosexuals distasteful. Peter, on the other hand, did not share this opinion--quite possibly because he was "a queer cocksucker." http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/092405.html Exactly what is not to like about "Fortunate Son?" It's two minutes long, has about three chords and nary a whiff of the excess and decadence that classic rock is often criticized for. Add to that the great lyrics and you've got a classic punk rock song. In fact, "Fortunate Son" could be an anthem for all the people left behind in New Orleans as Hurricane Katrina approached. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/090405.html The first song I ever heard by the Hold Steady evoked AC/DC playing in a small, dimly-lit bar, with dark hardwood paneling and pool tables, where a drunken frat boy has knocked the walker out from under Brian Johnson, wrested control of the mic and launched into an extended free associative rant. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/082805.html I stumbled upon a dialogue between Sufjan Stevens and Stephin Merritt in which Stevens comes across as an open-minded, thoughtful and gentle young man, and Merritt as a judgmental, pretentious, old crank. Merritt's comment that OutKast make "innocuous party music for suburban teenagers," in particular, ruffled my feathers. He must've been listening with his prejudices instead of his ears when he jumped to that conclusion. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/0827b05.html What is that, bouzouki? What kind of motherfucker puts samples from Zorba the Greek in a hip-hop song? The kind of motherfucker who deejays for Kansas City duo Deep Thinkers; that's who. If you dig the trippier end of hip-hop, like the Herbaliser, or jazzy stuff, like A Tribe Called Quest, you might like Deep Thinkers. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/0827a05.html You know how some days everything hurts, and you just want to crawl under a rock and die? So you come home from work, eat most of a bag of Random, Deep-Fried Salt Snack and go to bed at 7:30? No? Well, if you ever do find yourself in that situation, this song may help. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/082305.html You probably haven't heard of Th'Inbred, but surely you've heard of West Virginia? You know, Coal Miner's Daughter, Appalachia, serpent handlin' hillbillies and all that? On one hand, many West Virginians spend their entire lives trying to live down those stereotypes. On one of the other hands, Th'Inbred spent a career playin' 'em up. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/082005.html Brian Betzger was the Keith Moon of punk rock. I can't say whether he ever destroyed a hotel room or drove a Rolls Royce into a swimming pool, but he did play drums on the first full-length release by Jerry's Kids; and the record has to be heard to be believed. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/081905.html D.O.A. were the gateway band for me. I had already been listening to "weird" stuff like XTC, The Police and Midnight Oil for a while when I heard D.O.A. The protest lyrics drew me in, but the band sounded enough like a mainstream hard rock group to keep me there. Those other, "crazy" bands that played too fast, though, well, I would never have anything to do with them. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/080705.html Les Savy Fav are responsible for not writing some of the best lyrics I've ever heard. "Have we got half enough to go around?/Why don't you get a piece of pasta down?" What is this, a song for a drunk-sick friend? http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/080105.html Last night, I watched from my window as the cops set up for a take down. It wasn't the only one I've seen since moving here, so it wasn't exactly surprising. But it did put me in mind of a great work of quintessentially BC art--Lincoln Clarkes' Heroines, a book of photography of addicted women living and working in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. Heavy. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/073105.html "Mr. Brown," from the 1969 Wailers album, Soul Shakedown, seems to be about a crow with the magical ability to take the form of a man, or possibly about a man with the magical ability to take the form of a crow. Did I mention that the Wailers' producer at the time was the legendary Lee "Scratch" Perry of driving-around-town-with-a-piece-of-pork-impaled-on-his-car-aerial fame? http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/072405.html Much has been written about Iggy and the Stooges' final studio album, Raw Power. According to Trouser Press, for example, the album is "a masterpiece." I don't know about that, but Raw Power is the sort of record a certain kind of fellow can fantasize about offending authority figures with ... as generation after generation of just that sort of fellow has clearly noticed. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/071705.html I hate my job. How much do I hate my job? I hate my job more than the Harry Potter books. I hate my job more than the fact my provincial court allowed itself to be used to prevent people who bought these books in good faith from actually reading them. I like this song by Barry White, though. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/071205.html "You Can Get It If You Really Want" is taken from the soundtrack to the 1972 movie The Harder They Come, quite possibly the first feature film ever produced in Jamaica by Jamaicans. A little known fakt is that Jimmy Cliff was pressured into changing the lyrics to the song before recording it. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/070905.html The Ex. Can't get enough of those nest-of-angry-hornets guitars! http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/070405.html Listening to Phleg Camp's only full-length release, the Steve Albini-produced Ya'red Fair Scratch, I can't help but notice how monstrously talented these guys were. Touchstones include the Jesus Lizard, Nomeansno, Led Zeppelin, the Coen brothers, Fugazi, Neil Young and slide guitar. Lots of slide guitar. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/062905.html I remember the first time I saw the Jesus Lizard. Must've been 1989 or so and they were the headliners of a mid-week show in a dank, underground dive called The Apocalypse. It was a terrifying experience--even more terrifying than being front row center for a performance of the False Prophets. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/062305.html Now, if you are one of the 5% of North Americans whose legs aren't painted on, and who actually walks (!) every now and then, you'll be familiar with the scenario: you've reached an intersection at the same time as a motorist who wants to turn; you, as through "traffic," have the right of way, but the motorist doesn't want to stop, so they keep coming. Yesterday, I saw a motorist do something in I've never seen before. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/062205.html Golly, there sure is a lot of injustice in the world. But hey, isn't this a great song? http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/061805.html If you've ever tried to use All Music Guide, though, you know that fucker is about as friendly as auto-erotic asphyxiation. How's a motherfucker load so slow? People who go out and buy a legit copy of KRS-One - A Retrospective don't have this problem. The CD insert tells them which record each song was originally released on and when it was released. They go to bed earlier and awake refreshed. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/052805.html Apparently, Dean Park is grappling with the "problem" of "young people moving in and bringing change." I hope they're also bringing psychedelic music like that played by the band the United States of America. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/052305.html This is the problem with marijuana. People high on pot, late at night, can have a hard time telling what is "really" going on. Paradoxically, people high on pot, late at night, often feel that this is the only time they know what is "really" going on. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/052205.html Last week, I received an e-mail from a band featured on Afterbirth of the Cool requesting that their song be removed from my blog. The writer didn't specify why they wanted the song removed from my blog, but I assume it is because they, like many people, equate songs downloaded from mp3 blogs with lost sales of CDs and lost revenue. Here's how I see it. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/051405.html Today's song is about a journalist reporting from a place where "On the borders there's movement / In the hills there is trouble / Food is short, crime is double," and his tape's running out. It is unclear from the song if members of the local "left-of-center" party are roasting and eating Christian babies. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/051005.html I don't need to hear the Libertines to know that I hate them. Judging from the post-hip-hop-worldbeat-soul of today's song, however, the Go! Team is an English band that actually deserves some press. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/050405.html There are only two reasons anyone would give their band a name as shitty as Modest Mouse: one, they're estoopid; or two, they're esmart. I mean, to consciously give your band a name as forgettable as Modest Mouse requires a lot of balls. It's like saying "fuck advertising and commercial psychology; let the music sell itself." Almost like you've got a secret weapon you're waiting to unveil if anyone ever dares count you out because of your crappy name. Like talent or something. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/050105.html It's a safe bet that Naked Raygun's "Home of Brave" would have made it onto Clear Channel's "do not play" list after 9-11, had it ever actually made it onto Clear Channel's "play" list in the first place. In the song's chorus, the band sing about their homeland, the USA: "A country that even / Persecuted the Weavers / Did you ever see the Weavers?" http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/042105.html Chicago punk bands the Effigies and Articles of Faith have been on the opposite sides of a bitter feud for the past twenty-five years. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/041805.html In 2004, a hip-hop artist from Chicago uses a sample from a song written by an Eyetalian-Canadian in 1978 and has a smash hit! Not bad for a young, black man whose teachers tried to put him "on the school bus with the space for the wheel chair." Not bad for an Eyetalian-Canadian, either. Not as lucrative as becoming a member of the Liberal Party, perhaps, but not bad. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/041505.html There were no "Johnny Rottens," "Joey Shitheads" or "Jello Biafras" among the Chicago punks. Instead, most musicians in the Chicago punk scene took on faux-ethnic pseudonyms like "Steve Albini" and "Santiago Durango." http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/041005.html The first two Crucifucks albums have been reissued together on one compact disc. If you're only going to buy one CD of 1980s hardcore punk, a strong case can be made that this should be the one. http://www.afterbirthofthecool.com/040305.html Judging from the photos I'd seen of Turbonegro over the years, I'd always just assumed they were a gay version of The Village People.