The Spin Zone

Not Finding a Doctor in Ontario

December 5, 2005... I have angular cheilitis, a.k.a. cracks in the corners of the mouth. Anyway, I think I have angular cheilitis, but I wouldn't know, really, as I am not a doctor, nor have I been able to make an appointment to see a doctor to confirm or refute my diagnosis.

My odyssey began in late October, when I first used the Doctor Search function of the website of the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Ontario (CPSO). Using the drop-down menus provided, I specified that I was looking for a general practitioner accepting new patients in this city and got back a list of three or four options, which isn't many options for a city of 300,000 people.

I phoned the first doctor on the list and found out that, in fact, they were not accepting new patients, regardless of what the CPSO website had to say about the matter. The response was the same from the second doctor on the list.

Discouraged, I sent an e-mail to the CPSO including the names of the GPs listed as accepting new patients who were, in fact, not accepting new patients.

To my surprise and delight, the CPSO responded promptly, advising me to expand my area of search to include neighbouring communities and/or to expand the scope of my search to include doctors who weren't listed as accepting new patients—just in case. As my area of search already covered 200 square kilometers, and as I do not have regular access to a car, I opted for the second alternative and began phoning local doctors listed as not accepting new patients.

At the first office I tried, I was informed that the doctor's area of practice was actually sexual health; a worthy subject, to be sure, but likely of little use to someone with cracks in the corners of his filthy, god-damned mouth.

The second office I tried was closed until the following day.

The third phone number on the list was actually for something other than a doctor's office.

I continued making calls, being told that doctors were not accepting new patients, finding offices closed, being put on hold and forgotten, until, after about forty-five minutes of labour, I hit paydirt, booking an appointment a week or so hence ... until the receptionist told me that I'd have to pay out of pocket. “What?!?” I exclaimed, “I thought appointments with GPs were covered under the Ontario Health Insurance Plan.” “They are!” he replied, “But you've dialed the number of an eye doctor's office!”

I gave up. I thought it, whatever it ultimately is, would go away. But it hasn't gone away.

So, on Saturday, I called a walk-in clinic, part of a chain of places of last resort called The Doctor's Office, I believe, and was informed that I was welcome, but there'd be a one-and-a-half to two hour wait. Knowing that I'd have a copy of the bursting-at-the-seams Saturday edition of the-newspaper-that-shall-remain-nameless-until-it-restores-its-free-online-content, I figured I'd wait it out.

I walked into an icy wind for nearly an hour before arriving at the clinic, where I was informed again that there'd be a one-and-a-half to two hour wait and I would not be allowed to leave the waiting room in the interim. “So I can't go next door for an hour, order a coffee and read the paper?” I asked. No, the receptionist replied.

“I wasn't told this when I called,” I said, hoping to shake loose any errant shred of decency she might have. “Oh, we don't tell people that on the phone,” she replied, whereupon I turned on my heel and walked out.

I used the CPSO's Doctor Search function again today, for the first time in about a month. The database has been updated since my last contact with the "organization": one of the two doctors I notified them about has been removed from the list. The other is still on the list, however. With a brief phone call, I was able to confirm that the doctor is still not accepting new patients. Furthermore, that her practice isn't located at either of the addresses that the CPSO has her listed at.

As for the three other “general practitioners” listed as accepting new patients in this town... At the first office, I found the phone number out-of-service. At the second , the receptionist informed me that the doctor is not a general practitioner. At the third, the doctor—whose receptionist is away—suggested that I start dialing the numbers listed in the Physicians section in the Yellow Pages.

So, that's where it's at. I live in a city of 300,000 people, in the most developed province in one of the most developed countries in the world, but I can't find a family doctor. I can't say for sure if it's because there aren't enough doctors out there, or if it is because the CPSO's website is dire shite, or if it is because of some other reason(s). But I do aim to find out.

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